John Oliver Offers Clarence Thomas Payout He Thinks He Can’t Refuse

Television host John Oliver has offered Clarence Thomas a busload of reasons to resign immediately, amid mounting reports that the Supreme Court justice secretly accepted lavish gifts from Republican billionaires for decades.

Thomas has refused to recuse himself from cases despite widespread concerns that his opinions can be swayed by the gifts. So Oliver offered a solution Sunday night at the end of his comedy-news show Last Week Tonight: He would personally pay Thomas $1 million a year and give him a new $2.4 million luxury R.V.—if he resigns within 30 days.

Oliver quipped that Thomas was overworked, from “stripping away women’s rights to hearing January 6 cases you definitely shouldn’t be hearing, to potentially helping roll back decades of federal regulations.”

“You deserve a break, you know, away from the meanness of Washington so you can be surrounded by the regular folks whose lives you made demonstrably worse for decades,” Oliver said.

“I think you’re thinking, what would my friends say if I take this offer? Will they judge me as they sit in their boardrooms and megayachts and Hitler shrines? Will they still treat me to luxury vacations and sing songs about me off their phones? Well, that’s the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they’re real friends, they’ll love you no matter what your job is. So I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are.”

A series of ProPublica reports last year revealed that Thomas has accepted millions of dollars in gifts from Republican billionaire megadonors—and reported none of it on his financial disclosure forms. Thomas reportedly began accepting this steady stream of gifts just a few months after he publicly complained that Supreme Court justice salaries are too low.

One of those generous souls is billionaire Harlan Crow, who has been friends with Thomas for more than two decades. In that time, Crow—a Nazi memorabilia collector—has repeatedly lavished Thomas with expensive gifts. These include island-hopping yacht vacations, private school tuition for Thomas’s nephew, and buying and renovating a Thomas family property, where Thomas’s mother still lives.

Crow also regularly brought Thomas as his guest to the Bohemian Grove, which ProPublica has previously described as a “secretive all-men’s retreat in Northern California” that attracts major corporate and political players.

By 2003, Thomas’s wife, Ginni, had begun working at the Heritage Foundation and was making a salary in the low six figures. The Heritage Foundation is part of the Koch brothers’ network. By at least 2010, Clarence Thomas began secretly participating in Koch donor network events, which put him in touch with wealthy and influential conservatives.

It took about an hour for Justice Arthur Engoron’s ruling to sink in, but once it did, Donald Trump had a full blown, nail-biting, venom-spitting meltdown on Truth Social over his $354 million penalty for committing real estate–related bank fraud in New York.

In several rapid-fire posts on Truth Social, Trump slammed New York Attorney General Letitia James—a Black woman—as “racist,” branded the court judgment as “illegal” and “unAmerican,” bemoaned, once again, that Mar-a-Lago had only been estimated at $18 million, and swore that Engoron’s decision would be “reversed again.”

But the former real estate mogul seemed particularly hurt by a stipulation that he could no longer serve as an officer or director of a New York company for three years, including his own. His sons were similarly banned from doing business in the state, albeit for a span of two years.

“I helped New York City during its worst of times, and now, while it is overrun with Violent Biden Migrant Crime, the Radicals are doing all they can to kick me out,” he wrote, possibly referring to his fraudulent business deals, the luxury real estate developments he built thanks to $885 million in decades-long tax breaks, or that time he took all the credit for redeveloping Central Park’s Wollman Rink on the city’s dime while short-changing taxpayers.

(The city, meanwhile, has made its position perfectly clear on Trump, even celebrating when the former president swapped his permanent residence from Manhattan to Palm Beach, Florida.)

But Trump’s diatribe didn’t dim there.

“This “decision” is a Complete and Total SHAM,” he continued, before seemingly admitting to some of the fraud. “There were No Victims, No Damages, No Complaints. Only satisfied Banks and Insurance Companies (which made a ton of money), GREAT Financial Statements, that didn’t even include the most valuable Asset—The TRUMP Brand, IRONCLAD Disclaimers (Buyer Beware, and Do your Own Due Diligence), and amazing Properties all over the World.”

Trump also repeated his lie that the case had “no jury allowed,” apparently forgetting that his own attorney, Alina Habba, failed to ask for one.

“We cannot let injustice stand, and will fight Crooked Joe Biden’s weaponized persecution at every step. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” Trump concluded in his four-post rant.

New York Judge Arthur Engoron didn’t mince words in his damning ruling against Donald Trump, his two adult sons, and the Trump Organization—on whose collective backs he hoisted a $364 million penalty for rampant fraud.

In a brutal 92-page decision released on Friday, Engoron took the Trump family to task for their repeated refusal to admit any error.

“The English poet Alexander Pope … first declared, ‘To err is human, to forgive is Divine,’” Engoron wrote. “Defendants apparently are of a different mind. After some four years of investigation and litigation, the only error (‘inadvertent’ of course) that they acknowledge is the tripling of the size of the Trump Tower Penthouse, which cannot be gainsaid.”

“Their complete lack of contrition and remorse borders on pathological,” he added.

“They are accused only of inflating asset values to make more money. The documents prove this over and over again. This is a venial sin, not a mortal sin. Defendants did not commit murder or arson. They did not rob a bank at gunpoint. Donald Trump is not Bernard Madoff. Yet, defendants are incapable of admitting the error of their ways. Instead, they adopt a ‘See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil’ posture that the evidence belies.”

“This court is mindful that this action is not the first time the Trump Organization or its related entities [have] been found to have engaged in corporate malfeasance,” Engoron wrote elsewhere in the ruling. “This is not defendants’ first rodeo.”

Trump himself was ordered to pay $355 million in fines, while Donald Jr. and Eric Trump were fined $4 million each. Allen Weisselberg, the Trump Organization’s former chief financial officer, was penalized an additional $1 million.

Moreover, Trump cannot serve as an officer or director of any New York company for the next three years—including his own companies. His two adult sons are also banned from doing any business in New York for the next two years.

Last, the ruling bans them from applying for loans from financial institutions in New York for the next three years. Which probably makes sense, given it was a fraud trial after all.

Moments after Donald Trump got walloped with a $354 million financial penalty and banned from operating businesses in New York for committing real estate–related bank fraud, he took to Truth Social to complain about … a 2017 photo that makes him look fat.

For no clear reason, Trump brought the doctored photo, which depicts Trump’s face on an image of professional golfer and Trump supporter John Daly, back into the limelight.

“The Fake News used Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) to create the picture on the top left,” Trump wrote. “These are despicable people, but everyone knows that. The other pictures are me hitting Golf balls today to show the difference. Sadly, in our Country, Fake News is all you get!”

Fake news, according to Trump, anyway, is apparently anything that makes him look bad. Over the last several days, Trump has repeatedly posted his own, legitimately fake news, trimming and editing articles from various publications to remove any negative mentions regarding him and any positive mentions of his campaign rival, President Joe Biden.

But that wasn’t all that was on Trump’s mind Friday afternoon. He also posted that he was looking forward to attending a sneaker convention in Pennsylvania.

Meanwhile, at least his campaign staff seemed to recognize the truly dire straits Trump is in.

His campaign wasted no time in cashing in on the devastating comeuppance, asking his supporters to give him their cash.

“We need a MASSIVE PEACEFUL PUSHBACK right here, right now,” Trump’s fundraising website read after being updated to include a mention of his court loss. “Before the end of the day, I’m calling on ONE MILLION PRO-TRUMP Patriots to chip in and proudly say: END THE WITCH HUNT AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP!

“Only with your support can we STOP these people from DESTROYING our country. I know with you by my side, WE WILL WIN!” it concluded, before prompting for minimum donations of $20.24, or $47 “if you think Donald J. Trump is the greatest president of all time.”

In his ruling on Friday, New York Justice Arthur Engoron noted that Trump and his associates’ “lack of contrition and remorse borders on pathological.”

“They are accused only of inflating asset values to make more money. The documents prove this over and over again,” the judge added.

This story has been updated.

Donald Trump has decided on an answer to one of the signature policy questions of the 2024 election cycle. It’s simple arithmetic, at least in the former president’s eyes.

On Friday, The New York Times reported that Trump has privately settled on a 16-week national abortion ban. The reason why, according to sources close to Trump? Sixteen is a “round number.”

“Know what I like about 16? It’s even. It’s four months,” Trump said.

Politically sensible as it may sound to Trump, a 16-week ban is not founded in medical science. Abortion is currently banned outright in 14 states, and Trump’s “round-number” ban would represent a rollback of abortion rights in the remaining 36 states.

It would also represent Trump’s most clearly staked-out position on an issue on which he’s been intentionally vague, an electoral strategy born out of the unpopularity of Republicans’ extreme anti-abortion stances post-Dobbs. He has, until now, avoided publicly endorsing a federal abortion ban but has taken credit for abortion bans passed by red states. This fence-sitting act, whereby Trump presents as a moderate while winking at the party’s rabid anti-abortion base, was already tenuous. After all, it was Trump who secured the conservative Supreme Court majority needed to reverse Roe v. Wade.

The 16-week national ban was not Trump’s idea. Republicans have been pushing for it since Dobbs, but the former president’s arbitrary reasoning is by far the cruelest, most ridiculous explanation for a policy that would strip reproductive rights from millions of women and gender minorities across the country.